Recovery is a journey of lifetime.

Taj Exotica, Maldives

Taj Exotica, Maldives

The darkness engulfed me. To the extent, the meaning of life, the daily struggles, the emotions and feelings were shunned to a corner. Nothing really mattered; to matter was also forgotten. Feeling numb is an understatement. These were just some of the lows I had to go through in my heroin addiction.

It is certainly a frame of mind addicts visit emotionally — at least I went through it. These are low-emotional levels I went through during the peak of my using and even after I slowed down. Heroin starts really taking over every aspect of life.

Recovery is challenging too. Despite all the lows there is always the insanely psychological feel-good associations with it. The rational and logical conclusions do sometimes not work for anyone who’s trapped in the drug addiction cycle.

I do get the encouragement and drive to stay on the course. Recovery is simply a journey. There are real highs and real lows too; but I never wish to go to that darkness again.

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20 thoughts on “Recovery is a journey of lifetime.

  1. Best of luck again…you will get through…you have been another golden chance to enjoy this beautiful life in heaven on earth called Maldives, you will succeed…my hopes, wishes and prays are for your full recovery…

  2. May God keep you strong to keep free of this addiction. Your story of freedon and struggle nurtures and encourages those new to the fight. I saw first hand the toll it took on my father. as you say, it is a journey. God Bless.

  3. I enjoyed reading your posts and thank you for following my blog. I wrote a blog following this, because I used to have this fantasy during the depths of my habit, about the Maldives! It’s called Tropical Realities; maybe you’d be interested to read it! I hope you don’t find it offensive in any way; it just led me to some realisations πŸ™‚ Take care and keep well, H

    • I read it and it’s really interesting. I’m proud you have so many beautiful fantasies about the Maldives. The physical beauty of Maldives is unrivaled.

      Drugs were taboo a decade back in Maldive, but now it has crept into numerous families and the social fabric of the society is hitting a toll.

      Drugs are everywhere man! And I din’t find the post in any way offensive; in fact I’m quite proud of it.

      Thanks a lot for the meaningful and deeply moving post and the comment as well. πŸ™‚

  4. I can only offer you one word of advice – One Day At A Time! I’m sure you’ve heard that many times before, but when you think about it, isn’t that what all our lives are really about – crawling along 24-hours at a time with a few hours of breaks in between? I was never a heroin addict, but I’ve known a few people who were and still are. I think heroin addiction is probably the worst one. Once the monster take holds it’s very hard for it to let go.

    Don’t let it beat you…and find your salvation in the only place it can lie – which is inside yourself. Stay strong!

  5. I think it’s the fate of the addict to think about our addictions and roll them over in our minds day in, day out. I’ve really enjoyed reading a lot of your work, and I’m glad that you followed my blog. I wish you the best, and want you to know that you seem like an awesome person from what I’ve read. I have no advice that you haven’t already heard, and I doubt I could say anything that you haven’t already thought; but you’re on the right path.

    • It’s not like I have got all the tools in my bag, definitely I know little about addictions and I’m always striving to know more.

      Thank you so much for the kind words and showing so much interest in my work. Your poems are absolutely amazing!

  6. You’re right recovery is a journey and like life it is one we travel from birth to earth. There are so many reasons why people turn to drugs/alcohol in an attempt to escape something in their lives. For me it was a almost an accident, I had never been drawn to drugs and from an outsiders perspective did not understand the lure. When I was 21 I went through some events that left me with PTSD and one of the most violent reactions was panic attacks and anxiety. I tried to deal with it myself (needless to say that didn’t work) through a variety of methods. At the same time I started having serious issues with poly-cystic ovaries (very painful) that had me in hospital and on pethadine for long periods at a time. I discovered that a side effect of the opiate was to put a metaphorical pillow between me and the world which seemed to keep the anxiety away. I quickly discovered that using pain killers as a form of self medicating had the same effect. It was odd how I justified this abuse by saying that these weren’t illegal drugs – as if that made it OK. As all who use drugs for that purpose eventually find out it was actually making me worse – the drugs held it at bay but the emotional pain grew behind the opiate shield until everything came crashing down. I’ve been 10 years in Recovery for both the physical addiction and the mental health issues that led me there and I can tell you there are times when it would be so easy to slide but I promised myself to learn to live honestly with my feelings, resist the urge to hide and continue on life’s journey going forward and not falling back. Thank you for you stories and thoughts on Recovery it is always heartening to hear from others who walk the same path out of darkness and are determined to stay in the light.

    • Thank you so much for sharing your story. It means a lot to me. Today, I had a really bad day. My past has somehow crawled to my workplace and rumors are spreading like wildfire about me.

      I’m still in early recovery and I’m grateful I’ve got a job. Although, sometimes I don’t feel so grateful and I feel like I don’t deserve the shitty job and I would have gotten much far ahead in the rat race had I not used drugs. This thought is sort of an ungratefulness, I believe and it has led me to under-perform too.

      Besides, I was looking for a little push and you have given it to me today. Thanks a lot for that too.
      I can relate very well to your story, though my drug usage was purely recreational until it really got out of hand.

      I’m so happy for you, I hope your recovery journey is great. Sometimes life is hard and the best solution we can think of is giving in to that sweet calling; but not give in to that requires courage and I commend you for that.

      Blessings and well-wishes to you πŸ™‚

      • Don’t let that nasty voice inside you tell you what you do and don’t deserve. I know that voice it pretends to be simply pointed out the what if’s in your past and then relate’s what couldavs’ to your present. The thing to remember – it lies what that voice really is, is the last piece of the addict inside trying to undermine you and your journey until you start to slip. I’ve heard it late at night, or in the early hours of the morning just remember:

        You cannot change who you were or what you did but you can always change who you become and what you choose to do.

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