The darkness engulfed me. To the extent, the meaning of life, the daily struggles, the emotions and feelings were shunned to a corner. Nothing really mattered; to matter was also forgotten. Feeling numb is an understatement. These were just some of the lows I had to go through in my heroin addiction.
It is certainly a frame of mind addicts visit emotionally — at least I went through it. These are low-emotional levels I went through during the peak of my using and even after I slowed down. Heroin starts really taking over every aspect of life.
Recovery is challenging too. Despite all the lows there is always the insanely psychological feel-good associations with it. The rational and logical conclusions do sometimes not work for anyone who’s trapped in the drug addiction cycle.
I do get the encouragement and drive to stay on the course. Recovery is simply a journey. There are real highs and real lows too; but I never wish to go to that darkness again.